I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
