yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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