Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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