dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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