ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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