I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize