I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
