Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
