now i know why i became what i already was.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
dude. I can hear the air.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
