I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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