Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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