He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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