I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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