oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize