I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
