but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
