After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
