i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
where are you?
Hypothermia
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
