I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i will never coherently bang her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I need water and some morals
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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