ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
