I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
