the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
