okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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