just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You left your phone here
Wait...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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