Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
