the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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