so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
