i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
