You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
