just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
