I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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