what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
