i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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