Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
