i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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