I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
