She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
