he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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