Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize