i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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