11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Mom said you looked used
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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