It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
