just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
