there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
