I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize