id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
