Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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