Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
