I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
