Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
