A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize