that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize