I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
