Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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