i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
