I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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