I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
