And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
