I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize