Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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