My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
