tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
