I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize