Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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