thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
