I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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