Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize