what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
