i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
