She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
